![]() Money brings the power and ability - to some extent - to modify our own emotions.”Ĭouples also benefit when systems, habits, or agreements are implemented to slow thinking into a more reflective state. “Impulsive spending largely involves fast, automatic thinking associated with emotions and feelings in the moment,” said Stephen Shu, a behavioral economist who teaches at Cornell University. “If we don’t want children to have the experiences we had as a child, we use our resources to provide experiences and stuff to avoid our unpleasant memories. “The use of money typically represents our strongest and most closely held values,” said Sonya Lutter, director of financial health and wellness at Texas Tech University. Spending time regularly to discuss shared financial goals, values, and your relationship with money is often called money dates. Talking with your spouse about money is a skill that can require an empathetic approach so that you can understand your partner’s choices and respond without blame or shame.Įxperts agree that these conversations occur best in a scheduled and comfortable setting. Yet talking about money doesn’t come easily for some. Our relationships with money often originate from our childhood and can be damaged by financial trauma. Experts agree that working out financial differences requires couples to communicate clearly and regularly. Left unspoken, small transactions can feel like a series of micro-stresses that eventually lead to an argument. The person who grew up with a safety net often wants to keep it, and so wants to save more.” She added: “The person who grew up with little money wants to buy things they couldn’t as children, and isn’t as concerned with saving - they’ve gotten by their whole lives without a large savings account. “These differences often arise in marriages between people who grew up in different social classes,” says Jessi Streib, a sociology professor at Duke University who studies relationships among socio-economic classes. Nor is it unusual for savers to marry spenders. It’s not uncommon for savers to become agitated when their partner continually impulsively spends. Money is often a source of conflict in relationships.
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